do you ever wake up in the morning or from a nap with a heavy feeling in your chest? that something horrible will occur in the near future? where you're just not 'in the mood'?

that's been happening a lot lately, and its starting to scare the beejeesuss out of me. i wake up in the morning or mid afternoon with an urgency to do something and act upon my urges, yet i don't know what. maybe.. during my REM sleep, i have nightmares that i just can't remember when i wake up. but because i still have those nightmares, i wake up feeling down and worried.

i don't know. but all i do know is that winter quarter starts tomorrow, and i am somewhat excited. excited to do well this quarter. :)

So as I left for Geisel today, I decided to pack a little, or a lot of, snacks to munch on while I study.  As I rummaged through my fridge and pantry, I couldn't help but notice the many, many apples in the fridge.  I packed them, assuming that I would end up eating a piece or two, then throw the bag away because I'm allergic. But as I am at Geisel now, and have been here for about 3 hours, the bag of apples is gone and I'm craving for more. What's wrong with me? Craving a food when I'm obviously allergic. Weird.

Random, I know.

I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend. -Red in Shawshenk Redemption